The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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