Can i not drive my cunt home
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
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