God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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