I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
tell me about the fingering
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