All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have so much sex to catch up on
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize