Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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