can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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