What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Randomize