We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize