the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
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I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
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I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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