i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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