is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Green mimosas i think yes
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize