my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
you are never too drunk for berry picking
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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