the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize