3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
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Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
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Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
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