I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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