im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
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he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
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Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
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