we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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