We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
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I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
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I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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