Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
So gin and wine won't be happening again
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize