The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
There are leaves in my underwear?
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