you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
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We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
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Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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