Your face is a jimmy john
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize