I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize