so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
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