I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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