Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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