I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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