Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
do nipples grow back?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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