found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
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My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
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i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
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