He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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