Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
The air taste purple.
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