your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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