idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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