We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
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I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
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The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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