On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
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you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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