Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize