i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize