Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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