and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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