is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
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all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
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yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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