Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize