AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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