You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize