I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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