dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize