im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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