youre lurking in front of me
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize