if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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