i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize